Maybe the argument starts differently at times, but somehow it always ends in the same place.
One of you pushes harder to feel heard while the other becomes defensive, overwhelmed, or shuts down. Before long, neither of you feels understood, and the person you love can start to feel more like an opponent than a teammate.
You may even understand the pattern and still struggle to stop it once it begins. That doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. It means the two of you have gotten caught in a cycle that deserves attention.
Often, what looks like criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, or “overreacting” on the surface is protecting something more vulnerable underneath. Past relationships, emotionally unavailable caregivers, or earlier experiences of rejection can shape how safe it feels to express your needs and trust that your partner will be there for you.
In therapy, we’ll slow those moments down so you can understand not only what you’re fighting about, but what each of you is really trying to protect.
Couples therapy with me is active and relational. I’ll help you notice the cycle as it happens, slow down defensiveness or escalation, and create space for partners to speak more honestly about what is underneath the conflict.
My style is warm, straightforward, and validating, and I’m comfortable gently challenging patterns that keep you disconnected. Therapy can be vulnerable, but it doesn’t have to feel heavy every minute. Humor and laughter have a place here too.
Couples therapy may be a good fit if you:
• Love each other and both want the relationship to work
• Keep having the same argument despite trying to communicate differently
• Get stuck in cycles of pursuing, withdrawing, criticism, or defensiveness
• Struggle to express needs without fearing rejection or hurting your partner
• Want to understand how attachment and family-of-origin experiences show up in your relationship
• Are ready to take an honest look at your own part in the cycle